Growing pain

Most self-centered people face their unhappiness experience result from their natural tendency to look into mirrors. They tend to see all situation, all people and all circumstances in terms of how those things affect them. These mirrors causes rebellion, depression, selfishness, insensitivity, and self-consciousness. What they see in the mirror is how others affect them. "Why does he ask me to do this? It must be an unpleasant task which they don't want to do." They look at a situation but what they see is the mirror of what they can gain or lose by it.

There is no depth in mirrors. Only the surface of ourselves when we look into them. The one who stares into the mirrors is unpredictable because every change of light threatens the image and changes the feeling. Before accusing others who look in mirror, we better examine ourselves first. By turning the mirror to window and looking via the window, we will learn the skills (observing, feeling, communicating, giving) of sensitivity steadily. We become less aware of self and more aware of others and thus grows progressively more extra-centered.

We had acquired the qualities of extra-centeredness and sensitivity would be able to understand the need for independence being expressed in various ways. They would think more of the evolving needs and less of their own inconvenience. And as they tried to teach their children the principles of sensitivity, their own empathy would allow them to look for the unique and real characters of their children rather than trying to make them over into their own preconceptions of what they should be.

I am so graceful that I have abilities to observe others' relationships such as parents-children, siblings, in-laws, couples as a observer. From each of the relationships, I learnt from the mistakes and studied what elements built stronger bonding. I enjoyed the most is the relationships between my kids. We like lovers, special friends, and teachers. We learnt from each other. :)